The first time I heard the term “ghosted” I had no idea what it was. I'm about 2 years behind technology and anything that's “in” LOL! So I looked it up and the term was connected to a break up. Getting ghosted means your boyfriend or girlfriend just disappear. They don't take your calls or answer your texts. They basically vanish or become a “ghost”. Most people have had this happen to them in their lifetime when it comes to romantic relationships, but what about friendships?
Once I understood the term I realized I had been ghosted before, but had also ghosted a friend or been ghosted….. I'm not sure which. I won't go into the major details, but in a nutshell, I went through a difficult and emotional time right after I got married. There was a lot going on and it truly consumed me. I went into hiding a bit, trying not to have contact with many people. It was just difficult to be around anyone so I spent most of my time at home. I did stay in contact with my closest friends, but there was something different. The relationship had shifted, changed, and felt stiff and strange. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them. Maybe it was a bit of both. Needless to say after a few awkward months we just stopped talking, texting, etc. It was sad and I really felt alone. It was a breakup in every sense of the word, with people I loved with all of my heart. People I had some amazing memories with. So on top of feeling terrible about the awful personal problems I was going through, I was mourning a death. The death of a friendship.
A few years later things turned around in my life and I was able to pick myself up and heal. I tried to reach out to those friends I had lost, or “ghosted”, but could never get back in with them. The friendship as I knew it had ended and was not coming back. It was and still is hard to realize, but life goes on. The thing about a friend “break up” is there really isn't the same kind of mourning time or support as there is when there's a romantic breakup. Being ghosted by a friend doesn't garner the same sympathy as a love relationship, even though it's still love in a different way.
I've learned to live with the loss and although I still miss those women, I have made new friendships and can now face the fact that those old friendships are gone.
If you've been “ghosted” by a friend or maybe you've done the “ghosting” this is a great article to read. It doesn't give you a magic answer to dealing with the loss, but helps you know you are not alone.
