We’ve had a pretty tough week at our house. My 93 year old grandmother passed away on Friday. My grandma had been in Grandvue Medical Center for a couple of years and we knew she would eventually die of heart issues, but it was still shocking to get the news- and then try to explain it to my 7 year old.
Ella was close with great grandma. When we would visit her our ritual was usually to get her out of her room and find a place to play go fish. Then we would have a meal with her, take a walk around the facility and once we arrived back at her room, Ella would draw her a picture on a chalkboard we had installed on the wall. They had such sweet interactions with each other. My grandma would light up when her “Ellie” would come in the room. On a particularly rough day grandma fell asleep with a picture of Ella in her arms.
So how do you discuss death with a child? Unfortunately this isn’t the first time I’ve had to do it. My older sister died a few years ago when Ella was 4. At that time I think she was too young to really understand a lot, but now I feel like she needs more of an explanation. So again….how do you do it? Just lay it all out? Make it sound like it’s a magical thing? Depending on your beliefs it may be clinical, spiritual, or something in between.
One of the big tips psychologists give is to tell the child right away. We were on a camping trip when it happened and I didn’t want to spoil her fun, but I felt it was important to be honest and upfront right away. There were a lot of tears and questions and I tried my best to get through it all. I think I did ok and I expect more questions to come as we prepare for the burial, but here are a couple of articles that were very helpful to me.
https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/talking-to-kids-about-death/
